Ok, so as I am attempting to finish up my day at work (and a hella busy one it was!) I am looking forward to my “self preservation Wednesday”.
I used to look at Wednesdays as just a day without the step kids and husband (they have Scouts every Wednesday evening when School is in session), but I soon began to realize that this was the PERFECT time for a little undisturbed ME time. Like REAL me time. Not JUST sitting in my favorite chair, alone and enjoying the bliss of silence, but actually getting to do things that I simply don’t seem to do anymore!
Whether it is soaking in the tub, listening to MY favorite music, having a glass of wine, reading, studying, watching a couple of shows I have PVR’d two months ago and still not watched LOL Whatever it is….Wednesday is MY evening. I still come home, have the snuggle attack from the kids, have dinner and a catch up about school and what have you, then…then…they are GONE! 🙂
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my time with them all but I went from single, independent career woman who had everything she wanted and everything was in it’s place and pristine….to….well, a Smommy status. I now have a husband, two stepsons, two dogs, a cat and 3 aquariums. We reside in a “well-lived in” home….dust bunnies DO live in my house and they don’t pay rent! There are finger prints on everything, dog drool and fur on the furniture, I have lost many a favorite decorative piece to child play accidents, I can’t seem to lose the smell of dogs/cats either…and there is always some sort of spillage somewhere…not to mention clothes, laundry….kids bath toys that live in my special “relaxing” place….toothpaste on the floor…counter…sink…everywhere, pee pee on the toilet seats, my husbands nail clippings….yep, you name it, I got it. I am truly blessed eh? LOL
With all of the above said, I enjoy and need some me time, to feel like ME…like a human being again with some kind of self worth. (Not to be misconstrued with my worth to others, but MY worth). It’s not just the above to which, honestly, I think I have adjusted to pretty well, but it’s the ex. Without a doubt. She is the thorn in my side, the lava that rolls down from the volcano and destroys everything in it’s path….the disease that is infecting my life and if I don’t figure out an anti-virus/anti-venom for her wrath then she will eventually kill me, my husband and our life together. It is, unfortunately, THAT bad.
Soooo…..the time that I take for me (which is few and far between) is pivotal to my sanity and attempting to keep my stress levels down. I actually need more of it, and sometimes, I am aware that I probably jump on it like white on rice whenever I can….but I need to. I have to. For ME.
It’s hard to tell the people that you love that you simply need time away from them sometimes. Being a step-parent takes a LOT out of anyone. You HAVE to put time aside for you. If you can do that, you have a better chance of success. Sure, there will always be shit to deal with…that comes with the territory, but, you will be better prepared as an individual AND a couple, with less resentment.
Always remember to put yourself first….then your marriage/relationship. Everything with the kids will fall in line if you and your partner are on the same page and things are running smoothly. Remember that the kiddos have a Mother and a Father. You don’t NEED to have that pressure. You are already in their lives, you are an important adult to them but they are not your responsibility directly. Enjoy you, your marriage and your time with the kids WHEN they are with you. My suggestion is….the less contact you have with the “ex” the better. You will be much happier.
Tonight….I will finish up a module of my studying, pour a glass of Apothic Red and delve into the next Chapter of my book. Bliss….